My Journey into Kemetic Orthodoxy
As a child I was fascinated with nature and animals. I spent more time alone looking at shapes of leaves or catching frogs than with other children. I'm an only child and only children tend to have big imaginations because they don't have anyone else to play with... I experienced death in my family very early on and had to process and understand this, my upbringing made me grow up pretty fast so I started to question and dig deeper into how I felt about the world earlier than others. I asked my mother about God and the afterlife when I was probably about 5 years old...
The first "big words" book I ever read was about irrigation techniques in Ancient Egypt, this sparked a curiosity for me. What were these people like back then? Were they so different than my life now? I started collecting books on ancient peoples and Egyptology, checking out books from the library and learning about their deities. That was the first time I ever saw names like Isis or Horus, etc. It was amazing seeing the people and animals merged together, people with lion heads and falcon heads...it was strange but intriguing.
All of my life my mother told me I could believe any religion I wanted to or have no religion, she encouraged me to learn about different thought processes, belief systems and cultures. She really opened my mind and I am so thankful. When I was 13 I told my mother that I found a path for myself, I wanted to be a polytheistic pagan witch and I identified with that concept. She accepted me immediately and told me that she too has a history of delving into witchcraft. I was so shocked as she kept this fact from me all those years. I look back at this moment now and laugh.
When we were out shopping at the mall, not too long after this coming out of the broom closet so to speak--we were at a Spencer's Gifts looking at all the ridiculous joke stuff and I saw they had a collection of necklaces with pentagrams, dragons, fairies and the like, but they also had an Ankh. I was immediately drawn to this and wanted it to represent how I viewed my faith. My mother happily purchased it for me as a symbol that she supported me and wanted me to feel at home with this new faith. I wore it every single day. I felt it protected me and gave me strength. This was before I knew how to enchant items or bless items, I just felt a strong pull. I felt it in my heart.
However, I soon went down the long winding rabbit hole of Paganism. If you've ever done this, you know what I mean. I started with the earliest civilizations and how they viewed their Gods and Goddesses or singular God and kept going. I studied African religions, Voudon, Lucumi, and all the branches, Santeria, Haitian Voudou, Candomble, Palo, the list goes on. I studied Egyptian deities and found what I could about those practices. I then hopped over to India and started reading the Vedas, the Upanishads, Bhagavad Gita, the Srimavad Bhagvatam and learning about all of the 330 Billion Hindu deities. Then on to Greek and Roman deties and their practices... Celtic deities. Etruscan, Italian magickal practices, Modern Day Wicca and how it is the culmination of these practices... Native American Myth and Shamanism, I was hungry, I kept going. Rootwork, Hoodoo, Christian Magick, anything magickal I was interested in, I became obsessed. This long winding path was wonderful. I was always learning and obsessing over some practice or spell or ritual, some deity that fascinated me at the time... it gave me so much perspective.
I identified with Wicca for a long time, the culmination of ancient practices in a modern day perspective enticed me and the fact that I could worship any deities I wanted and still be considered a Wiccan. I didn't want to hurt anyone or anything so the rule of three didn't bother me and I liked the symbols and accessibility that the practice was getting with books being published every year of these new age Wiccan witches and their practices. It worked for a while...but then I started to realize how much of it was copy+pasted and "borrowed" from other cultures in a way that I just wasn't down with. The appeal became less appealing for me and after that I just considered myself a polytheistic pagan witch again.
Along the way I also made relationships with deities that I still have today. They have changed me and shaped me into who I am. I'm an Aborisha in the practice of Ifa and have undergone certain rituals and been a part of that community and have a relationship with certain Orishas. I have a particular love of the Goddess Venus-Aphrodite and Hermes, as well as Krishna. I LOVE Krishna, it's endless boundless love. He makes me feel so full of love. I've seen spirits and felt deity. I've learned how to heal and have had to exorcise people, I learned Reiki and Rootwork. I fell in love with tarot and divination. The rabbit hole took me everywhere, man.
During this time I had several crises's of faith, I was always questioning but is this my pantheon? Is this where I should be? Is this culturally appropriative? Is this right? There was so much to learn and although I did meet many priests, shamans, rootworkers, healers and priestesses there was never enough confirmation of anything for me to stick to one thing for too long before I found another possible path...
Now, 15 years later I find myself essentially starting over and I'm back to Africa, back to Egypt. My first ever inclination was to wear an ankh but I've been wearing a pentagram for so long I find it hard to put that down so I plan on wearing both. I've been called back to Ifa as well. I've been talking to my deities and they have given me their blessings, so I'm continuing down the path of Kemetic Orthodoxy. I will now endeavor to honor the Kemetic deities first and then everyone else after, knowing in my heart I love them all and there's no real favoritism going on--well, not yet. This doesn't answer my question fully yet, of the How.
How did I get here?
September of last year, I attended a Pagan Pride day festival where I was reading tarot at a friend's vending booth. I told her I wanted to take a break for at least one class and one ritual. There was a pamphlet for the classes and rituals that day and the names of the rituals were a bit vague so I just went for the one that called to me spiritually, it was a ritual held by a Hellenic Alexandrian Witchcraft lodge. I really enjoyed the ritual and talking with the lodge members. We invoked several deities, one being Hekate. Later that day I had a woman ask me in a reading how her relationship with a Goddess was going, I read the cards and there was an interesting and familiar dark energy there...I asked her who the Goddess was and she answered Hekate. I went to the class that looked most appealing to me and it was the class from that same lodge on Hellenic practices. I started dreaming of Hekate and getting bold messages from her after that day. I collected materials to do a spell to dedicate myself to Hekate but before I could do the spell, she led me somewhere else. She led me to Aset and specifically told me to get the "Isis Oracle" by Alana Fairchild. She told me I needed it, I needed Aset. I got the pocket version of the deck and fell in love with the images and started praying to Aset. I felt her magic and power. Hekate led me to Aset. I started asking people I knew about Kemetic practices and the priestess of the lodge led me to the House of Netjer's website and the beginner's course.
So, in a way Hekate led me to Aset, Aset led me to the House of Netjer and here I am. I thought it was strange that a Greek deity that seemed to be fond of me and wanted to work with me would lead me away form her, but She is the lady of the crossroads.... and knows each person's path. I am so thankful to Hekate and her pathfinding powers. Now that I've been making connections with different Netjeru, Aset has taken the back seat. She got me here, and now she's letting me find and meet Who I need to find a meet. It's been an enlightening experience so far and the first time I did the ritual of Senut, I felt like I was coming home.
Only time will tell if I am home.
